Where’s the effing bear man?

Tangle Creek, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Dead trees, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

(Warning: this article contains pictures of trees)

“Ya bunch of fu**ing limeys!” he shouted and spinning his tyres with an angry pedal-to-metal burst of acceleration, sprayed a sheet of gravel up into the air right beside me.

‘He’ was an Angry American On Vacation in Yellowstone, out at dawn in the autumn to capture ‘something wild’.

‘We’ were a group of UK tourists being led by me and my colleague Pete, visiting Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks, and doing exactly the same thing.  Angry A.O.V. had spotted us standing by the roadside in the early light as the first pink glow of dawn began to tinge the swirling morning mist.

Our lenses, some short, others large white and very obvious Canon 500mm f4’s a couple of feet long, were trained into an area of dead trees and marshy ground.

“What ya got there, a bear? A bison? A wolf?” he’d asked as his electric window revealed his eager face.

Tangle Creek, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Dead trees, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

“Trees” I replied, and adding for politeness:   “….and a good morning to you too. It’s a lovely one isn’t it!”

“Gotta be a bear man, where is it?” he replied

“No, only trees” I reassured him “…..just getting them in the early light.”

“Man it’s gotta be a wolf, its a wolf, isn’t it, is it in that thicket?” he asked with a growing sense of frustration.

“No, its just trees, we couldn’t find anything else. We’ve been looking for bison since before dawn with no luck, so we thought we’d just capture some of the nice light on the trees. Here look at my camera…”

But sadly before I could pull my dslr off my large tripod, he offered me a choice mouthful of curses and roared off into the distance. The next car arrived minutes later….

“What ya got man, is it a wolf, a bear?” asked the eager driver.

 

Tangle Creek, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Dead trees, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

“Er um no only trees” I tentatively replied.

“What, trees? Ya think I’m stupid man, do ya? Well do ya?”

“Well if you don’t get out to look and enjoy the trees, I’ll have to assume you might be.” I replied gently.

“Might be what?” he responded more curiously.

“Oh you work it out for yourself, you look quite bright, I’m going back to the trees, have a good day.”

Engine revs, more curses, more spinning tyres. And more gravel. This happened again, and again. Same routine every time. But to be fair many people just smiled at me, sympathetically and with a mildly concerned look, no doubt wondering if I was being well-looked after by my nurse.

So, if you’re one of the many folks who stopped to see what we were photographing, because you thought we had spotted something absolutely wonderful. You were right. We had. And here’s the evidence: trees.

Just trees, trees and a few more trees. Glorious.

It’s a well-worn saying, but as I’ve slowly come to realize, it’s so true: sometime people just can’t see the wood for the trees.

 

Tree reflections in small pond, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Tree reflections in small pond, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

 

Aspen abstract. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Aspen tree branch abstract. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

 

Bald eagle and trees, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Two small trees and a Bald eagle, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Light through mist and steam, Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Trees appear out of morning mist and steam, Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Dead tree beside geyser, Yellowstone  John MacPherson

Dead tree beside geyser, Yellowstone John MacPherson

 

Dead tree beside geyser, Yellowstone  John MacPherson

Dead tree beside geyser, Yellowstone John MacPherson

 

Trees in regenerating fire-damaged landscape, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Trees in regenerating fire-damaged landscape, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Layered landscape of live and dead trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Layered landscape of live and dead trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Might not look like much but these burnt weathered trees make fantastic abstract subjects. Unfortunately simply stopping and getting out our tripods caused one car to stop, then anoer, then another, and soon we had a traffic jam and many many frustrated people, a few of whom cursed me "for not explaining where the wolf as". It's trees man, just trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Might not look like much but these burnt weathered trees make fantastic abstract subjects (see image directly below). Unfortunately simply stopping and getting out our tripods caused one car to stop, then another, then another, and soon we had a traffic jam and many many frustrated people, a few of whom roundly cursed me “for not explaining where the wolf is”. It’s trees man, just trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

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Abstract burnt trees that caused another traffic jam. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

 

Woodland abstract, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Woodland abstract, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

 

Trees, alive and dead, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Trees, alive and dead, Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Elk and trees, Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Trees attract a hungry elk cow, Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

 

Tree and mountains, Tangle Creek, dawn light and mist, and a face full of gravel. Grand Tetons © John MacPherson

Tree and mountains, twilight. Grand Tetons © John MacPherson

 

Geysers, people and trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Geysers, people and yes you guessed it, more trees. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Burnt trees on the skyline, and clouds Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Burnt trees on the skyline, and clouds Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Soft trees at dawn. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Soft trees at dawn. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

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Trees on scree slope. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Elk and tree at twilight, Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

Tree at twilight, with a hungry elk cow. Mammoth Hot Springs. Yellowstone © John MacPherson

 

Author — John Macpherson

John MacPherson was born and lives in the Scottish Highlands. He trained as a welder in the Glasgow shipyards, before completing an apprenticeship as a carpenter, and then qualified as a Social Worker in Disability Services. Along the way he has cooked on canal barges, trained as an Alpine Ski Leader & worked as an Instructor for Skiers with disabilities, been a canoe instructor, and tutor of night classes in carpentry, stained glass design and manufacture, and archery. He has travelled extensively on various continents, undertaking solo trips by bicycle, or motorcycle. He has had narrow escapes from an ambush by terrorists, been hit by lightning, caught in an erupting volcano, trapped in a mobile home by a tornado, kidnapped by a dog's hairdresser, rammed by a basking shark and was once bitten by a wild otter. He has combined all this with professional photography, which he has practised for over 35 years. He teaches photography and acts as a photography guide & tutor in the UK and abroad. His biggest challenge is keeping his 30 year old Land Rover 110 on the road. He loves telling and hearing stories.

Discussion (2 Comments)

  1. […] My recent post that focused on trees in Yellowstone and my being accosted by frustrated American wildlife watchers raised a few chuckles: Where’s the Effing Bear Man? […]

  2. Barbara McQueen says:

    Your photos are quite wonderful. On behalf of many other, less aggressive and non-boorish Americans, please accept my sincere apology.

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