Due to the obvious lack of money pouring into our coffers (compared to the billions that we want) we have decided to erect a paywall.
We have enlisted the help of a bloke called Roger, and he will be building The Wall for us, cardboard brick by cardboard brick. Once built, he will smash it all down. It will take him a while, and he will be crying, shouting and singing whilst doing so. Mostly crying though. The wall is in no way meant to alienate you, dear audience, from the ‘talent’. It’s just that you’ll have to pay to read us from now on. This seems sensible. We need to apply an old model to the tintertwizzle. (that’s Welsh for internet, keep up at the back).
This experiment is quite likely to result in an approximate 90% fall in readership. We don’t mind, we only want the minted and the stupid, and that’s what we’ll be left with.
Interestingly Roger has just called up and suggested we give our paying readers a free copy of his single “Is there anybody out there”. I argued against that idea, but Roger is an argumentative sod. In the end we compromised, and have agreed to give away free copies of “Wish you were here” instead.
Money, it’s a gas.