Translation needed…

Neil Turner talking about the new NCTJ Up To Speed Photojournalism course: Can you speak the lingo?:

“The blunt said that some smudger ping’ed in a muzzy collect on spec. I got a decent tight ‘n’ bright and the Desk offered me a prime space rate ‘cos it’s only a few column inches and they’re off-stone soon.”

(A) Translation:

The hack told me some tog ftp’d in a crap pick up on the off chance. I blagged something crisp and the shiny bums paid over the odds ‘cos they were about to go to bed, and my upright slotted in perfectly to their hole.

Much clearer.