Seeing (only myself)
Written by duckrabbitThis is a short (humbling) story about something that happened to me today.
Mike Lusmore and myself are in Khulna Bangladesh giving a photofilm training to a cracking group of people from Canada, Bangladesh, Burkina Faso, Australia, Malasia and the UK.
We’re staying at a training centre in the city of Khulna, which is the third largest city in Bangladesh.
Last time I was here it was so hot and steamy that literally you would be soaked in sweat within minutes of leaveing the hotel. This time it’s more like going on holiday in Wales; cold, misty and very rainy. The local mosques have had a lesson from Spinal Tap in how to turn up the amps to 13. All that, plus a punishing travel schedule, time shifts, sleep deprivation and the sheer force of energy it takes to produce a really bang on training has left me struggling a little bit for grace.
Our group is being looked after during mealtimes by a young guy who sometimes struggles a little bit to keep up with the pace of our requests.
Last night when we were ordering drinks I passed a snide remark, to the person sat next to me, about wether the young man would manage the order or not (which he did). I say ‘he’, because, despite the fact that he’d been serving us for the past two days, I hadn’t bothered to find out his name.
Today, during a break in the training the young man came up to ask me where I was from? We chatted for the few minutes I had to spare. This is what I learned:
His name is Joel; he’s twenty and an orphan. Joel was bought up in the orphanage since he was a baby. He’s been sponsored by a couple from London which enabled Joel to go to school. He’s a Christian (because the orphanage is Christian) and he feels that the people at the orphanage are his family. Joel’s English is way better than any second language that I can speak. Finally Joel invites me to come and see the orphanage for myself.
When I looked at Joel (before taking the time to talk to him) I was only seeing myself. How my own needs were being met.
That’s an incredibly shallow way to judge someone.
It’s too easy to reduce people less fortunate than yourself to a snide remark just as its too easy to reduce someone to a photograph.
When you look at this one I hope you find a little more grace and understanding then I did when I first met Joel. Shame on me.
Joel and duckrabbit (photo by Mike Lusmore)
Author — duckrabbit
duckrabbit is a production company formed by radio producer/journalist Benjamin Chesterton and photographer David White. We specialize in digital storytelling.
Discussion (14 Comments)
Good on you for taking a step back. I for one have forgotten to do that at times and frankly there is no excuse for treating anyone as less than. Especially without taking the time to know anything about them.
He’s got a lovely smile.
Thanks for the reminder.
We all do it occasionally. Important that we catch ourselves though. Joel looks lovely but I’m sure he has off days too.
Which one’s Joel and which one’s Duckrabbit?
Joel is the good looking one.
I’m stuck. You’re both so gorgeous I’m having difficulties deciding who’s prettier.
The one thing I’ll love doing to the day I die is shattering someone’s stereotypical preconception of who and what they think I am. And I only mention this because I am so horribly, horribly guilty of it myself- the one who should know better, the one who has no excuse.
i wrote something about this kind of thing here: https://plus.google.com/u/0/107502109363442036270/posts/A4h1Z5BS4SF
Good post that Ben.Thanks for sharing.
“…reduce someone to a photograph.” Wow! That sent a chill!
And talk about reducing people…
http://news.yahoo.com/outrage-over-human-zoo-indian-islands-114059047.html
I agree. Fine words Ben.
Reading Ben’s post has prompted this
Even when you think you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, it still takes someone else to put you straight, to introduce you to another point of view at the risk of offending you or ruining a working relationship-
I was performing a solo circus related show for 3 weeks in a big theatre in South Africa years ago and one of the routines resulted in 5 smashed eggs on the stage.
After the first show finished, the auditorium was empty apart from the 3 cleaning ladies clearing the childrens detritus from between the seats, I set about cleaning my egg-mess off the stage.
Enter stage manager asking what I thought I was doing.
She took me straight to the wings – I told her I made the mess: I was going to clean it up.
Her words verbatim
Did you see the 3 ladies in the auditorium, when they have finished there, they will come and clean your stage and they will take great pride in their work as you do in yours. If you clean the stage you are taking their job away. I hadn’t even thought about this, or even the cleaning ladies.
I said hello and thanked them shortly after, and cut the eggs routine to 3 (making me work harder for the laughs) – what i realised was that there’s always another view we can’ t see and
we’re all in it together eh? And how hard it is to constantly keep it in mind when doing or work.